Gourmet Beans on Toast

Sometimes I can't be bothered to cook. Like yesterday; I bought a pack of un-podded broad beans with all the intention of making a fancy dish. However, after spending a day-off messing about with my nephews, sister and mum over at my sister's house, I got home at about 6 and looked at the bag of beans with disdain. No way could I be bothered to come up with any kind of gastronomic delight from scratch at this late hour.

So, after surveying my store cupboard I decided that easy comfort food it had to be. My bread bin contained a half-eaten wholewheat sourdough bread from the weekend, the freezer had some bacon lardons slowly petrifying at the back of the top shelf, the larder contained many, many tins of miscellaneous foodstuffs. Of course, I could have easily foraged for some fancy cheese and fresh herbs and constructed some kind of bruschetta, but I wasn't in the mood. So without a hint of guilt I told Mrs Ribeye (who had just arrived home after a long day of work) that dinner would be 'beans on toast'. Mrs Ribeye - knowing how I rarely capitulate to laziness when it comes to meal preparation - looked at me quizzically.

Up my sleeve, of course, were the broad beans and lardons to go with the dense chewy (slightly stale, which for this dish is key) sourdough bread. After spending a couple of minutes blanching the broad beans and adding them and the raw lardons to a tin of Heinz's bright orange baked variety, the result was fantastic! The broad beans add a different, slightly waxy, texture to the tinned stuff; the lardons added a savoury note to counteract the cloying sweetness of the tinned beans; the sourdough was a perfect base. All-in-all, another fantastic dinner. Of course, being pigs, we ate the beans on toast with a frozen cod fillet in breadcrumbs, which I also found in the freezer along with the lardons, (you can never have enough enough carbs) to accompany it.

Mrs Ribeye was totally sold. I kid you not; I'm putting this dish on as a Potless Towers regular.

Oh and it's cheap too. The bread is practically free, being a leftover; the broad beans cost £1.50 for a big bag; the lardons were £1; the Heinz beans were 69p - which puts this dish at £1.60 per serving. Brilliant.

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS:

1 x 400g tin of baked beans
150g podded broad beans, blanched and skinned
150g bacon lardons
4 slices wholewheat sourdough bread (or any other dense bread), lightly toasted

Mix all of the beans and the lardons in a saucepan and simmer while stirring, to reduce the sauce to a thick gloop and cook the bacon thoroughly. Top the toast with the mixture and allow to stand for a few minutes before serving, to allow the sauce to soften the toast slightly. Serve with salad or (in my case) other carb-laden foods.

The Queen's Diamond Jubilee Special: The Wimpy Quarterpounder

Hamburgers are, without the merest shadow of a doubt, my favourite food.

Wimpy hamburger restaurants have been around in the UK since the 1930's. By the time our Queen was crowned, the Wimpy chain was 12 strong. Nowadays, you can occasionally find a 'Wimpy Bar', but in the main, they have been superseded by the uber-dominant Maccy D's or The King.

What a shame! Wimpy bars are a proper British restaurant with knives, forks and waitresses. The food is real - prepared by a toque-wearing chef on a hot griddle. They have (or maybe had) big plastic tomatoes filled with ketchup on each table. The 'bender with cheese' signified a deep fried hot dog in a bun (which in the old days was ordered without any irony, sniggering, or knowing references to our 'flamboyant friends'). There were menus on every table.

Oh, and the food. The Wimpy quarterpounder is hands down the best fast-food chain burger known to man. It pisses on the McDonald's version. It pokes its tongue at the Burger King Whopper. It crucifies the Wendy's Big Classic.

I don't know what the big deal about this burger is, but it may have something to do with the wholemeal bun. Or it may be the coral pink special sauce, seemingly packed full of that mythical Japanese savoury taste 'umami' - which is a little like a a seafood cocktail sauce but impossible to create at home. It might even be that the burger was served on a china plate. Who knows? All I do know, is that I have finally cracked the recipe to be able to make this iconic British dish in the comfort of my own home, and my life is now complete.

The secret is Hammond's burger sauce (pictured): I don't know whether they had Wimpy's special sauce reverse engineered, or whether it is a stroke of lucky coincidence, but the sauce is perfect. Tangy, sweet, sharp and savoury. Delish. You can't buy this sauce in supermarkets - you have to buy it in 3x1 litre catering bottles. I gave a bottle to my brother-in-law Andre who shares my passion for this condiment and he agrees that it is a perfect copy of the original. You can only buy this stuff in largish quantities online or at catering outlets. Note to Hammond's: Start stocking it in smaller bottles on supermarket shelves NOW! (Also, did you notice how the label says 'American Style' on it, like it's a good thing? How very 1950's!)

Now, why have I chosen a Wimpy hamburger to commemorate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee? Well, I think that this dish represents everything fantastic about Britain: It is part of our British tradition. We invented it, before others got saw the potential, got involved and priced us out of the market with their own mass-produced inferior quality versions. It is far too high quality for the price charged. It is old-fashioned and inefficient. It has character and is a bit fuddy-duddy. It is not very sexy. It is simple and contains few ingredients. It is trying (a bit) to be good for you. It's anachronistic - and all the better for it.

Oh, and did I mention that generally I love burgers?

I'm no luddite, but eating this burger reminds me of a simpler time - before the E.U. Before credit default swaps. And before Simon Cowell. Go and get a bottle of this sauce and buy some wholemeal buns. Before you know it, you'll be whistling the national anthem and fantasising about Vera Lynn.

Buying this burger in a Wimpy Bar will probably set you back a very modern fiver, but make it yourself and you'll be out of pocket to the tune of a very antiquated £1.25 per serving. Rule Brittania!

Serves 1

INGREDIENTS:

113g ground beef, formed into a 7mm thick burger patty
Pinches of salt and pepper
1 large wholemeal bap
3 leaves of lettuce, chopped
The white part of a spring (salad) onion, finely chopped
2 tablespoons of Hammond's burger sauce
1 processed cheese slice (optional)

French fries, to serve (frozen, of course)

In a dry pan, season the burger and fry it on both sides until cooked through, but not too caramelised on the surface. Split and lightly toast the bap and cover the top half with the lettuce. Sprinkle the chopped onion on the lower bun and place the cheese, if using, onto the onion and cover with the burger. Spread the sauce onto the burger and place the two halves of the bun together to form the quarterpounder. Allow to rest for a minute or two before serving. Serve with the French fries on the side.

Anchovy, Marinated Artichoke, Tomato and Basil Bruschetta

Mrs Ribeye is away visiting her folks in Russia for her annual Easter trip home. Unfortunately, that means that left to my own devices, I cannot be bothered to cook a proper meal for myself.

Today, I have made my Courgette Soup and will be eating it with this delicious bruschetta.

I know that this might sound a bit like a proper meal, but the truth is, I made the soup a few days ago in anticipation of not feeling particularly inspired to create a sumptuous meal for one in the coming few days, and let's face it, the bruschetta cannot justifiably be called 'cooking'.

Another reason to pair these two dishes together is that I am quite loving the 'eating meat in moderation' schtick, which we started a couple of weeks ago. I know it probably won't last, but I will keep it going for as long as I can.

Use plum tomatoes, if you can, for the bruschetta. I don't know why, but plum tomatoes remind me of Italy in a way that the bog standard packs of supermarket light red tomatoes never do - and this dish is Italian after all, so authenticity will elevate this dish beyond a mere open sandwich. For this reason, I'm calling my courgette soup 'zucchini soup' for today, and I'm going to eat this meal while watching The Godfather. Any excuse...

You can buy jars of ready-marinated artichoke hearts in  most supermarkets (life is way too short to marinate your own artichokes, surely?), which are great with this bruschetta, and also an essential ingredient on my Quattro Stagioni Pizza.

These bruschetti (excellent use of Italian pluralisation here - I hope I've got it right) would also be great with cubed mozzarella, shaved parmesan, goats cheese, or other marinated vegetables, like sweet red peppers. This combination here will set you back £1.50 per generous serving.

You could also make these bruschetti in a smaller size for a summery drinks party.

Serves 2 (2 large bruschetti each)

INGREDIENTS:

4 large plum tomatoes, deseeded and chopped into 1cm dice
12 pieces of marinated artichoke hearts, cut into 1cm dice
2 tablespoons of olive oil (or the oil from the jar of marinated artichokes)
1 teaspoon of dried oregano
Pinches of salt and pepper
1 ciabatta
4 anchovy fillets
4-5 basil leaves, torn

Mix the tomato, artichokes, oil, oregano and seasoning in a bowl and refrigerate to allow the flavours to mingle. In the meantime, split and toast the ciabatta. Spread the tomato and artichoke mix onto the bread and lay the anchovy fillets over. Sprinkle with the torn basil leaves immediately before serving.

Home-Made Whopper with Onion Rings

Hello, my name is Reggie, and I'm a recreate-my-own-fast-food-at-home-aholic.

The fact that Mrs Ribeye and I have broken our meat-free week today has spurred me on even more to crave a hamburger - and what better way to eat a hamburger than with Burger King's signature dish? The thing is, I cannot bring myself to take a short walk to my local branch in Marylebone station - it's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I only reserve eating in fast food restaurants for when I'm drunk and/or have lost all powers of reason.

I'm not saying that BK, KFC, McD or any of the other chains sell unhealthy food, but... oh, who am I kidding? Of course they do! Their food is most probably choc-full of fat, refined sugars and a million other nasties that started life in a test tube.

So, I make my own burgers at home and stick as closely as I can to the fast food chain's recipe, but use healthier stuff instead. Instead of mayo, I use light mayo. Instead of 80/20 chuck steak, I use 6% fat. Instead of onion rings, I use... no I still use shop-bought breaded onion rings - they're way better than making your own. As far as the famous flame-grilling aspect of the burger is concerned, I use a ridged grill pan with a fierce heat underneath to simulate the bars of a barbecue. Excellent.

At some point I will aim to make McDonald's special sauce, so that I can recreate my own Big Mac, but I am full of trepidation. A couple of years ago, I went online to see whether I could make my own Subway Southwest Sauce. Some guy from Montana or somewhere, suggested mixing mayonnaise with lime juice and chipotle chillies in adobo. I shopped online to buy the chipotles and awaited eagerly for the jar to arrive from the Mexican grocer. When it finally came, I carefully mixed it with the mayo and the lime juice in the specified proportions, and tasted a big spoonful. I was horrified! Not only did it taste nothing like Subway's famous sauce, it actually tasted like body odour. On a hot day. In a taxi. On a leatherette seat.

Completely and utterly repugnant. The chipotles on their own were fine though, so all was not lost, but I need to get over the experience for another year or two before I trust anyone enough to offer me their take on their Big Mac sauce recipe. Or invite me into a taxi.

Anyway, today's dish uses no such special ingredients - just good beef, good bread, good veg and a couple of store-bought sauces. I checked exactly how they make Whoppers in Burger King, including the proportions of each ingredient, and I can assure you that the method I am showing you is absolutely authentic.

Oh the other thing, is that BK is pretty expensive these days - unlike this burger and onion rings, which will only set you back £2.50 per serving.

Serves 1

INGREDIENTS:

150g ground steak
1 large sesame seeded white bun
2 slices of mild white onion
2 slices of tomato
2 slices of pickled gherkin
1 iceberg lettuce leaf, coarsely chopped
1 tablespoon of tomato ketchup
1 tablespoon of light mayonnaise

Breaded onion rings, to serve

In a blisteringly hot ridged grill pan, fry the burger on both sides until well done. Split and toast the sesame seeded bun and spread the top half with the mayonnaise. Place the cooked burger patty on the lower bun and spread with the ketchup. Place the onion and gherkin slices on the burger, and the lettuce and tomato slices on the top half of the bun. Place the two halves of the burger together and serve with the onion rings.

Carb-Crazy, Breaded Fish Burger with Mini Rosti Potatoes

What a convoluted way this recipe came to be developed.

As you may know, Mrs Ribeye and I are on a 'meat-free' week. As you also may know, I am a bit of a fast food fan. Put these two things together and you can count the six degrees of separation that resulted in the best dinner I have eaten in a while:

1. I love McDonald's hamburgers.
2. I like to make my own version of McDonald's hamburgers at home - they are cheaper and better for you.
3. The easiest burger to copy at home is the McChicken Sandwich, because it doesn't use any specialist ingredients or sauces - just bun, breaded chicken, iceberg lettuce and mayonnaise.
4. I am on a meat-free week, so I can't make my own version of a chicken sandwich, but I have allowed myself to eat fish.
5. I hate McDonalds' Fillet o' Fish with a passion - the cheese and tartare sauce in it is truly disgusting together - so I won't be copying THAT recipe.
6. But, I can substitute the breaded chicken in the McChicken Sandwich for breaded fish and make my own McFish Sandwich!

Ta DAAA!!! And that's all there is to it.

Plus, because I'm on a meat free-week, I am wasting away - so I need to replace those delicious meaty calories with carbs, and this is the perfect solution: Breaded fish in a bread roll, with potatoes. I would eat rice and pasta with it too if I wasn't afraid that Mrs Ribeye would leave me.

I use haddock in my burger, but you could use any white fish or salmon fillet. Cost-wise, this is dearer than a Happy Meal, but still under your Potless budget at £3 per serving.

Serves 2

Breaded Fish Burger

INGREDIENTS:

2 x 150g haddock fillets
1 tablespoon of plain flour
Pinches of salt and pepper
1 egg, beaten
100g breadcrumbs
Sunflower or vegetable for frying
2 ciabatta rolls
6 leaves of iceberg lettuce
4 tablespoons of mayonnaise

Dust the haddock fillets in seasoned flour, then the egg, then the breadcrumbs, and set aside until needed. Heat the oil in a pan until moderately hot. Fry the fish on both sides until golden and crunchy. Split and toast the ciabatta rolls and spread the upper half with mayonnaise. Place the haddock fillet on the lower bun and top with three leaves of iceberg lettuce, then add the top bun. Serve with the mini rosti potatoes.

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Mini Rosti Potatoes

INGREDIENTS:

2 potatoes, peeled and grated
1 onion, peeled and grated
2 tablespoons of flour
1 egg, beaten
Pinches of salt and pepper
Sunflower or vegetable for frying

Mix the potatoes, onion, flour, egg and seasoning in a bowl and refrigerate to firm up. In the meantime, heat up the oil in a large pan or wok until moderately hot. After an hour, form the mixture into small rostis and deep fry in the oil until golden and crunchy (10 minutes approx).

Feta Cheese and Roasted Jalapeno Burger

Feta must be, rather unfairly, thought of as the most unversatile of all cheeses. Apart from sitting atop a Greek salad in a Greek restaurant, or possibly in a filo parcel (also in a Greek restaurant), or crumbled over a lamb stew (also in... er, you get the idea) where do you see it featured in dishes from other cultures?

It's a shame really, because this cheese holds its shape well, is salty, lemony, fresh and zingy. Perfect to complement a plethora of meat, chicken or fish dishes, due to its ability to retain its unique character among other robust ingredients.

The reason I decided that a lump of feta should adorn a burger, was that on a trip I took to North Carolina last autumn, I was served a cream cheese and chilli pepper burger in a restaurant, which for the first two minutes was incredible, and a disaster for the duration of the rest of the meal. The problem was that the formerly solid block of cold cream cheese rapidly melted away to create a warm milky mess all over my burger, me, the plate, the table, and a bit of the floor.

I couldn't fault the flavour though. So, on my return home, I vowed to crack the conundrum to create the perfect cream cheese burger. The addition of roasting the jalapenos was all me, though. I felt that the moisture generated from roasting the chillies would be able to counteract any moisture-loss from substituting the cream cheese for the intrinsically drier feta.

So here it is: The perfect solution to a delicious problem. The feta holds its shape well, and is every bit as rich and tasty as the cream cheese - without the need for protective clothing to be able to eat it. Plus, the roasted peppers, make for a less-harsh, more luxurious taste. The key with the cheese is to carefully slice the feta laterally through the middle of the block, to create a 5-6mm layer. Any thicker than that, and you won't notice any other ingredient in the burger.

One last thing: Use a dense bread roll, like ciabatta or sourdough, instead of a regular burger bun. The richness of the fillings need something more substantial to hold it all together.

Oh, and one last, last thing: I found that the burger was best eaten without any condiments. Ketchup and mustard would interfere with the flavours too much, and because of the jalapenos, you don't need really them anyway.

200g feta blocks are around £1.80 (you will get 2 servings from one block), and ciabatta rolls are 50 pence each; which means that cost-wise, this gourmet treat will set you back £2.50 per serving. Enough left over from your Potless budget to buy some fries.

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS:

4 large fresh green jalapeno chilli peppers (not pickled)
300g ground beef
Pinches of salt and pepper
Handful of fresh rocket or watercress
1 x 200g block of feta
2 ciabatta or sourdough rolls

Place the chillies on a baking tray and roast in a hot oven for 25-30 minutes until wilted. Place the chillies in a bowl and cover with clingfilm, to loosen their skins. In the meantime, form the beef into two patties, slightly larger than the area of the bread rolls, to allow for shrinkage. Fry the burgers on each side until cooked (3 minutes on each side approx) and season to taste. Split the rolls through the centre and lightly toast the cut sides. Place some salad leaves on the lower bun and top with a burger patty. Carefully slice the feta block laterally through the centre to create two 5-6mm thick slices, and place a slice on top of the burger. Take the jalapenos from the clingfilmed bowl and remove the skins and stalks. Roughly chop the jalapeno flesh and place a spoonful on top of the feta cheese. Add the top bun and serve immediately.

Friday Night Burrito

Friday night, which means too much drink and a need for spicy food to mask the badness. Tonight, I'm adapting a chili con carne recipe and filling large wheat tortilla wraps to make a carb-rich treat to soak up the excess alcohol - it's pretty much a health food.

I'm having a bit of a chilli-fied week this week, what with making my Gourmet Chilli con Carne recipe only a few days ago. But I reckon (hope) my stomach can take it. Tonight's chilli recipe is a basic one - no fresh onions or garlic, but if the truth be told, I normally keep a bit from my gourmet version in the freezer, for just this occasion. Of course, I was a bit of a greedy-guts, so with none of my midweek chilli left, I am making this very simple and quick version instead. It really is fabulous, and because it is so clean-tasting, it compliments the other burrito fillings very well.

Buy tinned refried beans if you can't be bothered to make your own, but it's a lot more fun - and really easy - to make them yourself.

There are a lot of parts to this dish. I normally make the pico de gallo a day earlier and let the flavours develop in the fridge. You can do the same with the chilli, the rice and the beans if you like - in fact, I recommend it. Heated up chilli is always better than fresh.

This whole dinner is only going to set you back around £2.50 per serving, leaving enough for a shot of tequila to go with it (why do I do this to myself?)

Serves 4

Beef Chilli

INGREDIENTS:

500g ground beef
50ml sunflower or olive oil
1 teaspoon each of onion powder, garlic powder, dried oregano, dried chili flakes
400g passata
Pinches of salt and pepper
200ml water

Fry the beef with the oil on a moderate heat until any liquid in the meat has evaporated (20 minutes approx). Add the dry spices, passata and water. Season with salt and pepper and simmer until the chilli has thickened (1 hour approx), stirring occasionally. Set aside until needed.

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Refried Beans

INGREDIENTS:

2 x 400g tins, or 200g dried, soaked and cooked (1 hour approx) red kidney beans, drained
50ml water
100g butter
Pinches of salt and pepper

Add the ingredients to a saucepan on a moderate heat and mash with a fork until you have a smooth paste. Set aside until needed.

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Mexican Rice

INGREDIENTS:

200g basmati or long grain rice
400ml chicken stock
1 tablespoon of paprika
100g sweetcorn kernels
Pinches of salt and pepper

Add all ingredients to a saucepan and cook on a moderate heat until the rice has absorbed the water (approx 15 minutes). Set aside until needed.

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Pico de Gallo

INGREDIENTS:

4 ripe tomatoes, finely chopped
4 spring onions, finely chopped
1 bunch of fresh coriander leaves, finely chopped
Pinches of salt and pepper

Mix the ingredients together and refrigerate until needed.

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To Assemble the Burrito

INGREDIENTS:

4-8 large or very large wheat tortilla wraps, depending on size
200ml sour cream or creme fraiche
100g iceberg lettuce, shredded
200g cheddar cheese, grated

Lay either 1 single, or 2 overlapping, (depending on size of tortilla and/or recipient) tortillas on a flat surface. Lay a spoonful of rice on the tortilla and spread it out, followed by a spoonful of beans. Then take a spoonful of the chilli and a spoonful of pico de gallo, making sure that all the ingredients have left at least a 5cm margin within the outside edge of the tortilla(s). Dress the burrito to taste, with cheese, lettuce and sour cream or creme fraiche. Turn the left and right edges of the tortilla(s) into the centre, and with a swift movement, roll the tortilla over to form a fat cigar. Serve.

Qrazy Qrooked Quesadillas Part 2

So, here are the other 2 quesadillas I promised you yesterday. I hope you like them as much as my Qrazy Qrooked Quesadillas Part 1.

If you make my duck confit recipe, keep 100g back for the first quesadilla recipe below, and the costs for this dish will come down even lower than the £2 per serving that it currently stands at.

Last night's entertainments, with Mrs Ribeye and friends, involved a fair amount of vodka with Red Bull. So, please forgive me for not writing too much pre-recipe banter - I simply do not have the head for it (it seemed like a good idea at the time, though). Normal service will resume tomorrow. Reggie x

Serves 4 (2 of each flavour, to share)

Duck Confit, Cranberry Sauce and Brie Quesadilla, with a Sweet Red Onion Marmalade Dip

Duck Confit, Cranberry Sauce and Brie Quesadilla

INGREDIENTS:

100g duck confit, shredded
100g brie, cut into 1cm dice
50g cranberry sauce
4 large tortilla wraps

Lay half the duck confit, followed by a sprinkling of half the cranberry sauce, followed by a scattering of half the brie, over one tortilla wrap, leaving a 5cm border. Lay another tortilla over the top and cook in a moderately hot dry frying pan, turning once, until both sides are golden and toasted and the filling is oozing. Repeat with the other quesadilla. Cut them into four quarters and serve with the sweet red onion marmalade dip.

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Sweet Red Onion Marmalade Dip

INGREDIENTS:

1 red onion, finely chopped
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 teaspoon of balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons of maple syrup

Fry the onion and oil on a low heat until soft and translucent (20 minutes approx). While still hot, stir in the balsamic vinegar and maple syrup and allow to cool to room temperature. Set aside until needed

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Salami, Red Pepper, Spring Onion and Cheddar Quesadilla, with a Tomato Salsa Dip

Salami, Red Pepper, Spring Onion and Cheddar Quesadilla

INGREDIENTS:

100g Napoli or Milano salami, thinly sliced and cut into 1cm pieces
2 spring (salad) onions, finely chopped
1 sweet red pepper, finely chopped
100g cheddar cheese, grated
4 large tortilla wraps

Combine the salami, onions, pepper and cheese in a bowl. Spread half of the filling over one tortilla, leaving a 5cm border. Lay another tortilla over the top and cook in a moderately hot dry frying pan, turning once, until both sides are golden and toasted and the filling is oozing. Repeat with the other quesadilla. Cut them into four quarters and serve with the tomato salsa dip.

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Tomato Salsa Dip

INGREDIENTS:

2 large tomatoes, finely chopped
2 spring (salad) onions, finely chopped
1 bunch of fresh coriander leaves, finely chopped
Juice of a lime
Pinches of salt and pepper

Mix the ingredients in a bowl and refigerate to let the flavours develop (2 hours minimum) until needed. 

Qrazy Qrooked Quesadillas Part 1

Toasted cheese sandwiches are an amazing comfort food when you're either ill, cold, sad, staying at your parents' house or just need a quick lunch. But a 'Wow your friends' recipe? I think not.

However, exchange the bread for a tortilla wrap and call it a quesadilla, and now you're in Wow territory. The only thing is, you can't just leave it there. You need to do some other cool stuff to it to make it into a Potless creation.

A few months ago, I watched a Nigella re-run, where the Domestic Goddess made a quesadilla with a piece of cheese and a strip of ham. And no other ingredients. Quite frankly, it was watching that episode that made me think I may have something to offer the world, with some of my 'special' creations.

I mean, I LOVE Nigella, but I would rather send out for McDonalds than offer my friends a toasted ham and cheese sandwich. I accept that maybe the point of that particular episode was 'comfort food' or something, but not even a spring onion? Come on!

As long as you have tortilla wraps and some cheese (if the recipe doesn't call for cheese, the peanut butter in the recipe below acts just as well - even if you can't strictly call it a 'quesa'dilla) to glue them together, you can make these Mexican-inspired treats with almost any flavours you fancy, and any sauces you like to dip them into. The four fillings and sauces here are really easy to make and are great party food, or supper with drinks when the guys come round to watch movies.

Depending on your ingredients, this dish is a fairly low cost affair (you could use smoked salmon off-cuts to make one of the recipes below even cheaper) at £2 per serving, but even if you use slightly more expensive ingredients, you should still be on budget.

Two recipes are below, with the other two to come tomorrow.

Serves 4 (2 of each flavour, to share)

Smoked Salmon, Crumbled Feta, Ricotta and Chive Quesadilla, with a Horseradish Creme Fraiche Dip

Smoked Salmon, Crumbled Feta, Ricotta and Chive Quesadilla

INGREDIENTS:

100g smoked salmon, coarsely chopped
100g feta cheese, crumbled
100g ricotta cheese
Bunch of chives, finely chopped
4 large tortilla wraps

Combine the salmon, cheeses and the chives to form a stiff paste. Spread half of the paste over one tortilla, leaving a 5cm border. Lay another tortilla over the top and cook in a moderately hot dry frying pan, turning once, until both sides are golden and toasted and the filling is oozing. Repeat with the other quesadilla. Cut them into four quarters and serve with the horseradish creme fraiche dip.

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Horseradish Creme Fraiche Dip

INGREDIENTS

100g creme fraiche
1 tablespoon of prepared horseradish sauce
Juice of a lemon
Pinches of salt and pepper

Combine ingredients in a bowl and set aside for flavours to amalgamate, until needed. 

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Snickers Bar and Banana Quesadilla, with a Peanut Butter and Jam Dip

Snickers Bar and Banana Quesadilla

INGREDIENTS:

2 Snickers bars, cut into 1cm dice
2 bananas, cut into 1cm dice
4 large tortilla wraps

Cover one tortilla wrap with half of the Snickers bar and banana chunks, leaving a 5cm border. Lay another tortilla over the top and cook in a moderately hot dry frying pan, turning once, until both sides are golden and toasted and the filling is oozing. Repeat with the other quesadilla. Cut them into four quarters and serve with the peanut butter and jam dip.

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Peanut Butter and Jam Dip

INGREDIENTS:

100g apricot jam
100g peanut butter
3 tablespoons of apple juice
1 tablespoon of lemon juice

Heat in a microwave until the ingredients have amalgamated (1-2 minutes approx). Serve warm.

Spicy Falafel Wraps with Yoghurt, Garlic and Mint Sauce and Chilli Salsa

Middle Eastern food is so brilliant - fresh flavours, spicy and colourful ingredients, and all within a stone's throw of our flat. Edgware Road is so full of fantastic delis and food emporia (plural of 'emporium' hopefully - or have I just invented a new word?), that I'm never far from inspiration.

This weekend, I'm going to have a Middle Eastern-themed party. Alongside these delicious falafel wraps, I think I'll also serve my Lamb Shwarma Wraps and my Lamb Kofte Quarterpounders.

I love a party - Saturday's get-together is starting at 5pm to allow for some early celebrating. One of my oldest friends, Jasmine, is travelling to far off lands to live, and we are all sending her and her boyfriend Guy off in style. In fairness, this is not the first time Jasmine has buggered off to live abroad. This is (by my reckoning) her third leaving do, but I don't care - any excuse for a party.

This dish comes in at £2 per large wrap - but as it's a party I would suggest that you make mini versions of all these three dishes and have a finger buffet. You could easily convert the kofte quarterpounders into little 'slider' burgers. Also, Morrisons Supermarkets do a packet of six 15cm diameter mini tortilla wraps, which are perfect for party food, if you don't fancy cutting these large warps into quarters.

Serves 4

Falafel

INGREDIENTS:

400g tin of chickpeas
1 large onion
3 cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon of fresh parsley
1 tablespoon of fresh coriander leaves
1 teaspoon of ground cumin
1 teaspoon of ground coriander seeds
Pinches of salt and pepper
Sunflower or vegetable oil, for frying

Pulse the ingredients together in a blender until you have a coarse paste. Form into sixteen golf-ball sized falafels and refrigerate until firm (1 hour approx). Deep fry until golden and crunchy (5 minutes approx).

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Yoghurt, Garlic and Mint Sauce

INGREDIENTS:

300ml Greek natural yoghurt
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 teaspoon of dried mint
Pinches of salt and pepper

Mix ingredients together and set aside until needed.

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Chilli Salsa

INGREDIENTS:

1 sweet red pepper, finely chopped
2 red chillis, finely chopped
1 red onion, finely chopped
2 tomatoes, finely chopped
Juice of a lime
A few drops of Tabasco
Pinches of salt and pepper

Mix ingredients together and set aside until needed.

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To Assemble the Wraps

INGREDIENTS:

4 large tortilla wraps
1 cucmber, cut into 1cm dice
Half an iceberg lettuce, shredded
150g green olives, coarsely chopped

Heat the tortilla wraps on one side in a dry frying pan until slightly toasted. On the toasted side, spread a large spoonful of the yoghurt sauce and place 4 falafel balls in a straight line over the sauce. Dress with the vegetables and top with a large spoonful of the salsa. Roll the wrap into a fat cigar shape and then roll into a piece of foil to secure, twisting the ends. Cut the wraps in half to serve.

Middle Eastern Lamb Kofte Quarterpounder with French Fries

Mrs Ribeye and I live about 5 minutes walk from Marble Arch in central London. Along the Edgware Road are dozens of Middle Eastern food shops and supermarkets, selling the most incredible range of exotic products.

On my last shopping trip, I gathered a whole bunch of authentic ingredients, and set about recreating a High Street favourite - the Quarterpounder with French Fries. Why did I do this? I think it's because I quite enjoy fusing cultures together and seeing whether I can make something which uses the best bits of both.

Here, a typical flatbread is traded for a ciabatta roll, to make the meal more substantial and easier to hold in your hands; and the regular hamburger condiments are traded for Middle Eastern-style dips. The 'burger' is a typical lamb kofte recipe, which can be bought from any Edgware Road butcher or deli, or can be easily made yourself (as I have here).

Try it - You'll never walk into a fast-food place again (until you're drunk and it's midnight and nothing else is open).

This is not fast food, and therefore not as cheap as buying a greasy burger from a chain outlet. But this recipe is still on budget at £3 per serving.

Serves 4

Lamb Kofte Quarterpounder

INGREDIENTS:

400g minced lamb
1 onion, minced
2 cloves of garlic minced
1 teaspoon each of dried oregano, dried mint, dried chilli flakes, paprika, cumin powder, coriander seed powder, powdered cinnamon, salt and pepper
Handful of fresh flat leaf parsley leaves, finely chopped

Mix the ingredients together and form in to four patties. Fry in a dry pan, on a moderate heat, until cooked through and slightly charred on the outside (10-15 minutes approx). Do not move the burgers around the pan while cooking.

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Garlic, Mint and Yoghurt Sauce

INGREDIENTS:

200ml natural Greek yoghurt
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 teaspoon of dried mint
1 tablespoon of olive oil
Pinches of salt and pepper

Mix ingredients together and refrigerate until needed.

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Tomato and Chilli Salsa

INGREDIENTS:

2 large tomatoes, skinned, deseeded and finely chopped
1-2 large red chillis, deseeded and finely chopped
2 spring (salad) onions, finely chopped
2 or 3 drops of Tabasco sauce
Pinches of salt and pepper

Mix ingredients together and refrigerate until needed.

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To Assemble the Burger

INGREDIENTS

4 ciabatta rolls
Half an iceberg lettuce, finely shredded
8 slices of cucumber
1 large sweet onion, finely sliced into rings
8 large potatoes
Sunflower or vegetable oil, for frying

Toast the ciabatta rolls lightly on both sides under a grill. Spread the top half of the roll with the yoghurt dip, and then cover with the lettuce and cucumber. On the bottom roll, place the burger, followed by the salsa, then 2-3 onion rings. Place the two halves of the roll together and serve the Quarterpounder with the French fries.

To make the French fries: Peel and slice the potatoes into long narrow strips. In a very hot pan, deep fry the potatoes with the oil until golden and crunchy (30 minutes approx).

The Mighty 'Man-wich'

A guys' night at our place means big drinks, Will Ferrell movies and BIG FOOD!

This creation is a trucker's (or pretend trucker's) dream: Every food group imaginable, trapped between two doorstop-sized pieces of bread. If it was up to one particular friend of mine, he would eat this every day of the year (in fairness, he does have a bit of a deathwish).

Eat very occasionally - but do try it. I guarantee that once you go man-wich, you won't go sandwich.

Get the guys to supply the booze and you supply the grub. It's a great deal. These badboys will only set you back £3 per serving.

I love lamp.

Serves 4

INGREDIENTS:

1 small white cabbage, shredded
1 small onion, finely chopped
50ml olive oil
25ml cider or white wine vinegar
Pinch of celery seed
1 teaspoon of sugar
Pinches of salt and pepper
4 large potatoes, cut into French fries (skin left on)
Sunflower or vegetable oil for frying
4 thick slices ham
4 thick slices pastrami or corned beef
8 slices salami
1 ball of mozzarella, cut into 4 slices
4 eggs
2 large tomatoes, thickly sliced
8 thick slices of white bloomer bread

Firstly, make the coleslaw: Mix the cabbage, onion, celery seed, sugar, salt and pepper, vinegar and oil in a bowl and refrigerate until needed, preferably overnight to let the flavours mingle.

Secondly, make the French fries: Fry the potatoes in the oil on a moderate heat until golden and crunchy.

Thirdly, make the filling: Pile a slice of ham, 2 slices of salami and a slice of beef to make a three-way stack. Repeat 3 more times. In a dry pan on a moderate heat, lay the stacks in a single layer and fry until warmed-through. Place a slice of mozzarella onto each stack and keep cooking the stacks until the cheeses has melted. Place each stack onto a slice of the bread. Turn the heat in the pan up, add a tablespoon of oil and fry the four eggs, making sure the yolks are still runny. Place an egg onto the cheese layer of each stack. Place a handful of French fries, followed by 2-3 slices of tomato, and finally the coleslaw onto each stack. Top with the second slice of bread.

NB. The man-wich construction from top to bottom:

Bread
Coleslaw
Tomato
French fries
Egg
Cheese
Three-way meat stack
Bread

Serve immediately (as if you wouldn't...).

Middle Eastern Lamb Shwarma Wraps with Cacik (Tzatziki)

Lamb breast is to be found in your supermarket, neatly rolled-up with string into a roasting joint. Revolting, because the meat on the inside of the roll is left flaccid, rubbery and tasteless. So, unroll it! When you allow all surfaces of this bargain-basement cut of meat to be exposed to a marinade and then left to slow cook under a grill or on a barbecue, I guarantee that all other lamb dishes will seem bland and unexciting in comparison.

If you go to a shwarma (not a doner kebab) take-away restaurant, you'll see the vertical spit layered-up with succulent slices of lamb. Recreate this at home and your house will be the first place your friends will want to spend the evening, not the last place to stagger to after a night out drinking.

Lamb breast is cheap cheap cheap, at £4.20 per kilo. Even with factoring-in the cost of wraps, cacik and salad, this still comes in at £2 per serving. And, unlike a take-away, you know from where the meat originated - and from which breed of animal.

Serves 4

Lamb Shwarma

INGREDIENTS:

1kg lamb breast
1 tablespoon of dried mint, dried oregano, ground cumin, ground coriander, dried chilli flakes
1 teaspoon each of salt and pepper
1 onion, minced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
4 tablespoons of olive oil

Unroll the lamb breast and cut into 4cm square pieces. Mix the rest of the ingredients in a large bowl and then add the lamb, rubbing the marinade well in. Leave in the fridge for minimum 2 hours, preferably overnight. Thread each piece of lamb onto skewers, ensuring a tight fit together. Baste the marinade over the skewers and set aside while you make the cacik.

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Cacik (Tzatziki)

INGREDIENTS:

300ml natural unsweetened Greek yoghurt
Handful of fresh mint, finely chopped
1 teaspoon of dried mint
1 clove of garlic, minced
Half a cucumber, deseeded and finely chopped
25ml olive oil
Pinches of salt and pepper

Mix ingredients together and refrigerate until the wrap is ready to be assembled.

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Assembling the wrap

INGREDIENTS:

I small red cabbage, finely chopped
2 large ripe tomatoes, finely chopped
4 spring (salad) onions, finely chopped
Half a cucumber, deseeded and finely chopped
I tablespoon of lemon juice
2 tablespoons of olive oil
Pinches of salt and pepper
4 large wraps

Mix the salad vegetables with the lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper and place in a bowl. Cook the lamb under a low to moderate grill, or on a slow-burning barbecue, until slightly charred on the outside, and cooked-through on the inside (approx 1 hour), basting regularly with the marinade. Dry-fry the wraps one at a time until slightly toasted on one side. On the toasted side, heap a quarter of the salad and a quarter of the de-skewered lamb. Top with a good dollop of the cacik and wrap into a cigar. Wrap in foil to prevent spillage, and to keep warm while the other three wraps are being assembled. Serve in the foil wrapping.